


I'm trying to right these wrongs

by screamtobeheard



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Anxiety, Communication, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, and the boyf riends being soft as heck, this is just jeremy being an anxious babe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-23 21:55:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11998722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screamtobeheard/pseuds/screamtobeheard
Summary: Why did he want advice? He wanted someone to tell him how to do this. How to handle these feelings. How to like someone like this and not screw this up. How to handle being with someone and feeling on fire whenever they’re near. He wanted someone to tell him how to do this the right way.





	I'm trying to right these wrongs

**Author's Note:**

> Hi friends,
> 
> I've been wanting to write another boyf riends fic for so long but couldn't do it bc of the fear it would be BAD. anyway, here's a fic about the worries i had in my first relationship and how i think jeremy would have them too. 
> 
> also title is from 'mixtape 2003' by the academic, listen to it it's nice  
> ENJOY BYE

Dating Michael was something else. Jeremy didn’t exactly have that much experience dating people. Sure he had dated Christine for like a week, which was great and he wouldn’t want it any other way. But it almost felt foreign comparing it to dating Michael. Nothing seemed worth it comparing it to Michael. No crush or attraction seemed to compare to what he was feeling. 

“That’s so fucking cheesy man,” Michael had told him after Jeremy had confessed this on a quiet night in while watching TV. He was cuddled into Michael’s side, with Michael’s hand softly stroking the hair next to his ear. He had been paying attention to the TV until Michael had chuckled softly behind him and Jeremy had looked up at him. it wasn’t that Michael looked any differently than he had looked all those years they had been friends. He looked like Michael, just dorky Michael who was laughing at some joke made in Brooklyn 99. And for some reason, it felt so big. To watch him like this, to be with him like this. To be this close and to have such an important place in Michael’s life. 

Brooke nearly died when Jeremy told her. She hid her head in her hands while Chloe was pretending to fan herself. See, Brooke and Chloe were a package deal, you can’t tell the one without the other. A little bit like him and Michael, maybe.   
“Jeremy Heere why are you so adorable this isn’t even fair,” Brooke said. Jeremy’s face burned and he smiled.   
“I don’t see how this is a problem. Being that into someone is generally a good thing,” Chloe added. Jeremy shrugged.   
“I don’t know. It’s weird being this into him. Like yesterday, Jake was telling some story and I just completely missed the ending because Michael was being cute and he smiled and then I couldn’t focus and Jake asked me something and I didn’t even know what to say so I just-,” Jeremy rambled until Chloe cut him off. Meanwhile Brooke was shaking her head and squealing.   
“Listen, as cute as this is. I don’t understand why you wanted advice,” Chloe said. 

Jeremy thought about it. Why did he want advice? He wanted someone to tell him how to do this. How to handle these feelings. How to like someone like this and not screw this up. How to handle being with someone and feeling on fire whenever they’re near. He wanted someone to tell him how to do this the right way.   
“I guess, I just wanted someone to tell me what to do,” he admitted quietly. Chloe gave him a sympathetic smile and touched his hand.   
“Jeremy, you can’t. There’s no squip and no one will tell you what to do and you don’t need one. It’s on you now,” she said. Jeremy sighed, lowering his head to rest on the table in defeat.  
“I know. I’m just afraid I don’t know how to do this right.” Chloe scoffed.  
“Come on, Jeremy, you’re doing this right! Look at how far you’ve come! I might actually be jealous of your relationship,” Brooke said. Chloe gave her a startled look, which Brooke returned, almost shocked at what she just said. Jeremy snorted out a laugh and left before he had to witness the emotional roller coaster the two of them had to endure. 

See, flirting and kissing Michael before, seemed like no big deal. He still had freaked out about that at first, but it was in no way the same now. Now his feelings were so important and big he couldn’t do anything without a racing heart and doubts. They were in Michael’s car again, Jeremy in the passenger’s seat, Michael’s in the driver’s seat and Michael’s mouth firmly pressed on his. Michael’s hands were gentle but constant on his waist and cheek. As Jeremy’s mind was far gone in a place where only Michael and him existed, Michael stopped kissing him to press a soft lingering kiss to his cheek and pulled away. Jeremy blinked, out of breath and stared at Michael, who just turned on the engine again like nothing happened. Michael drove him home cheerfully, singing along with the song on the radio but Jeremy couldn’t focus. He felt in a daze. A happy love sick Michael daze. And although that floating feeling was amazing, he again felt the persistent dread creeping up. 

You really really really like him. You better not screw this up. Do you know how not to screw this up? His worrying was stopped short when he noticed Michael talking.  
“Sorry, what?”  
Michael grinned at him.   
“I asked if you were alright. You’ve been smiling and staring off into space for the past 5 minutes now.” Jeremy’s face burned at Michael noticing. He pushed him playfully.  
“Fuck off.” Michael giggled, looping his arm around Jeremy’s shoulder as he stopped in front of Jeremy’s house.   
“You’re so cute, Heere,” Michael teased him and pressed a kiss on his hair. Jeremy grumbled, and pretended to hate the embrace Michael kept him in but Michael just pulled him closer. The angle began to get uncomfortable, as there was way too little space in the car for them to do this. 

When Michael let him go, Jeremy stared fondly at him. The street lights illuminating Michael’s face and the soft playing of the radio made it feel like nearly too much. I love you, he thought.   
“You’re my favourite person,” he said. Then added “In the whole wide world.”  
Michael smiled and Jeremy knew he was somewhat embarrassed with the sentimental words as he blushed and looked away.   
“Stop being sappy,” was all he said. Then Michael touched his cheek and his expression turned serious.   
“Are you alright? You seem a bit nervous lately.” And for a second, Jeremy debated telling him. But then he thought how Michael might take it the wrong way. How being absolutely terrified about loving him like this would maybe not something Michael wanted to hear. 

“I’m totally fine. Actually, I’m better than fine, I’m doing amazing. No, I’m doing better than amazing. Everything’s great!” his voice squeaked at the end of his sentence which made the sentence not that convincing but Michael snorted and accepted it anyway. He angled his face by his chin and pressed a kiss to his mouth.   
“Good night,” he whispered breathlessly against Jeremy’s mouth.  
“Good night,” Jeremy whispered back just as breathlessly.

The more Jeremy thought about, the more craved guidance. How does one do relationships? He and Michael had been dating for about 3 months now and now his friends started getting involved in their ‘progress’ as a couple.   
“So like, how far have you two gone anyway?” Jake asked casually during lunch. Jeremy choked on his soda, ending in him coughing and being bright red. Jenna snorted at the question but looked up, expecting an answer. Michael, next to him, didn’t seem to be that bothered by the question. He shot an annoyed look at Jake and Rich, who looked a bit embarrassed by the question.   
“You don’t ask them that while we’re at school man,” Rich said to Jake. Jake shrugged.   
“You’re the one who brought it up yesterday,” he replied. Rich face turned as red as Jeremy’s.   
“Yeah but I wasn’t going to ask them in front of everybody!” Jeremy didn’t know what was the worst part. The fact that his friends apparently were invested in their sex life, that they talked about it behind their backs, that they would just ask them about it or that a part of him desperately wanted to know what the right answer to the question would be. He and Michael hadn’t had sex. Not even a little bit. But was that bad?

Was 3 months too long? Had most couples already started? Were they late?   
“Come on, that’s just weird,” Christine said with a frown. Jake stared at Jeremy with a small smirk.   
“None of them have given me an actual response, which means they’re either going at it like bunnies or haven’t started yet.” Michael sighed next to him.  
“It’s quite rude to ask about someone’s sex life. And it’s actually none of your goddamn business, Jake,” he said slowly. Michael took a bite from his sandwich, like there wasn’t any uncomfortable silence.   
“So, Dua lipa is having a concert next month,” Rich said carefully, to which Brooke replied with enthusiasm. Jeremy, just thankful for the conversation to be over, looked at Michael, whose cheeks were still red from anger and eyebrows knitted together. Jeremy waited until he looked at him and scrunched his nose up in a silly face until Michael smiled again. Michael made an equal silly face, meaning he was okay again. 

The conversation made Jeremy second guess again. Having sex was cool. It was a cool thing teenagers did. And although Jeremy and Michael weren’t cool, they were a teenage couple. So they should be having sex, right? Unlike waiting for someone to tell him what’s normal, waiting for a certain voice in his head tell him what to do, he asked Michael.  
“Do you think we should be having sex?” the question made Michael’s character die on screen and him curse. Michael put his controller down and looked at Jeremy.  
“Like, right now?” Michael asked him with a blush on his face. Jeremy’s face flushed too.  
“Uhm. I guess. I don’t know what’s supposed to be the norm,” Jeremy said. Michael frowned at him and rolled closer to him, so he was laying with his hands and face on Jeremy’s stomach. Michael looked up to him, which probably gave Jeremy a ridiculous double chin. 

“Why are you worrying about that, who cares what’s the norm?” Michael stroked his hand over Jeremy’s belly softly.   
“Well, you know me. Always worrying if I’m doing things right.” Michael shook his head with a sigh.   
“Jeremy, of course you’re doing things right. There’s no formula to a relationship or a how to article.”  
“I wish there was,” Jeremy admitted softly.   
“I know. But you don’t need it okay? You’re doing perfectly okay right now and you don’t need someone or something to tell you what to do, alright?” Jeremy nodded, as he knew Michael expected him to do so.   
Michael pressed a kiss to his belly and reached for Jeremy’s hand, which he took easily.   
“As for sex. We do what we do. And when we have sex is no one’s business. We’ll only do it when the both of us want to do it and feel comfortable with it, okay?”  
“Alright,” Jeremy said more easily now. He felt lighter at this agreement. 

So maybe communication was key after all. who knew? It wasn’t like everyone had been saying that since forever. Jeremy liked where they were going. He liked the moments where Michael would tell him things he liked about him. Like how he looked nice, or had nice hair, had a cute laugh. He especially liked it when Michael told him he was hot. 

This is where they were right now, Michael pressed against his body on top of him, pressing kisses to his neck. Jeremy had given up on keeping his noises in when Michael urged him to let it go. Michael’s left hand was under his shirt, carefully moving over his skin. Michael pressed a kiss to his jaw before hovering over him again.   
“Can I take your shirt off?” he asked softly. Jeremy nodded quickly. Michael pulled off his shirt, messing up Jeremy’s hair when he did. It startled a giggle out of Michael, who was before completely serious. It eased Jeremy’s nerves just a tiny bit. Michael leaned down to press a kiss on Jeremy’s torso again and it sent a spike of arousal and nerves through Jeremy’s body. Alright, they were doing this. He should not fuck this up. Michael didn’t seem to be in the same mindset as he blew a raspberry on his belly. Jeremy yelped in surprise and pushed Michael’s face away.

Michael giggled loudly as Jeremy stared at him with a betrayed look.   
“Fucker,” he said, though he was smiling. Michael grinned.   
“You needed to loosen up a little.” Jeremy knew Michael was right. He needed to loosen up. This wasn’t such a big deal.   
“I just want to do this right,” Jeremy said, toying with the end of Michael’s shirt. Michael looked at him fondly.   
“Jeremy, you’re doing everything right.” Jeremy kissed him before he could say more. He pulled Michael on top of him again, and Michael went willingly. Michael kept kissing him as Jeremy carefully pulled his shirt off his shoulders. Michael scrunched up his nose adorably when they looked at each other again. Jeremy’s heart skipped a beat and he pressed a long kiss on Michael’s mouth. Michael hummed into the kiss, bringing his hand to the back of Jeremy’s head. 

Jeremy sat up, pulling Michael into his lap as he did. Michael let out a content noise at the change of positions and went back to kissing him. Jeremy ran his hands up and down Michael’s back and Michael arched into him. Right, I’m doing okay. Jeremy thought. He could do this. And he didn’t need a squip. This was totally fine. Which was until Jeremy tried to reach up for Michael’s face but miscalculated the distance and hit him in the nose. Michael stumbled backwards in surprise. Jeremy held his breath as he checked for Michael’s expression. But of course, Michael just started laughing. Jeremy was completely mortified and started apologizing.   
“I’m so sorry. God I completely ruined it. I’m so sorry. Fuck I’m so dumb,” he kept muttering. Michael shushed him by pressing a kiss to his mouth. 

“I’m fine,” he said. Jeremy opened his mouth to talk again when Michael again shut him up with a kiss.  
“Stop it. You haven’t ruined anything. I’m completely fine. It was just pretty fun, Is all.”  
Jeremy nodded, though he still felt embarrassed. Michael leaned back in Jeremy’s lap and looked at him.

“What’s wrong? Why do you worry so much about doing things right? You never cared about that with me before,” Michael said simply. Jeremy bit his lip.  
“But now we’re a couple.”  
“So?”  
“Well, I just don’t want to mess this up. Because I like you so much.” Michael’s expression turned soft. He poked Jeremy’s stomach.  
“You know I like you a lot too. Which is why you should know that you don’t have to try so hard for me.” Jeremy groaned in frustration and shook his head.  
“No, it’s not like that.. it’s just..” he trailed off. He silently hoped Michael would drop it but Michael was just staring at him patiently. 

Jeremy started over.   
“It’s just that I like you so so much. And I haven’t actually felt like this before. And it feels like such a big deal to like you the way I like you. And it feels like I don’t know how to do it properly and I’m afraid you’ll realize that and leave or something.” Michael looked at him sadly but Jeremy carried on quickly.  
“And I know that’s probably not true. But god, Michael I’m so in love with you it feels like I might actually explode one of these days and I don’t know how to handle this. I don’t know what to do and I just want someone to tell me how to do this. Because I’m scared I’ll fuck it up, like I fuck everything up.”

Michael didn’t kiss him to shut him up this time. He just held his hand and stroked it quietly. After a silence, he spoke.  
“Jer, nobody knows what they’re doing. Do you really think I have any idea how to do this? I think about you so much it drives me insane. You almost drove me insane the first time you kissed me. But it’s okay. We both don’t really know how to do this. That’s okay, because we can figure it out.” Jeremy stared at their joined hands. Michael nudged him with his thumb against his hipbone. Jeremy looked up at him.  
“We’ll figure it out, okay? No need to be perfect.” Jeremy didn’t know he waited to hear that last silence for such a long time. He nodded and a new wave of emotions ran through him. 

And he wanted to say so much more. One voice in his head wanted to argue with Michael. While the other just wanted to tell Michael how important and amazing he was. In the end he did neither, and instead pulled Michael to his chest into a hug. Michael smiled in his neck and rubbed over the back of his neck. In the end, they just ended up binging Brooklyn 99 again, cuddled on the floor. And they were alright, Jeremy thought. They would figure it out.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, i hope you liked that.
> 
> nearly everything was inspired by true events lol. (seriously why do people always ask how far you've gone sexually with your bae?)
> 
> Pls let me know what you think. i was hesitant to post this as it felt all over the place. 
> 
> come find me?? talk to me?? @softandpersistent.tumblr.com


End file.
